


Pokemon Never

by lolwat64



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Team Rocket - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-01
Updated: 2014-10-01
Packaged: 2018-02-19 13:41:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2390405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lolwat64/pseuds/lolwat64
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ash is having a bad day and so is everyone else...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pokemon Never

 Ash was having a bad day. He had a fight with Misty, a fight with Brock, a fight with some side character vaguely related to this episode's plot. He even had a fight with Pikachu. But none of these things were pokemon battles. What was the point of a fight if it wasn't two pokemon pitted against each other for human amusement?

He walked around Technicolor City for a while and found a hut in the middle of everywhere. He went inside. An old man yelled at him for coming in uninvited and threw a kettle of boiling water at Ash.

Later that day at the people-hospital where Ash was sent for full-body 3rd-degree burns, Misty had come to make sure he was okay.

"I'm still waiting for that apology, Ass!" She said.

"MmmmfffMMmfmmff..." was all Ash could say because he was so badly burned they had to cover his body in bandages.

"Oh, you think _you've_ had a bad day? Well I lost a pokemon battle about five minutes ago. How do you think _I_ feel? God Ash, you're only ever thinking about yourself, aren't you?"

And with that Misty stormed out of the people-hospital.

"MmmmfffMMmfmmff..."

The next day, Ash died due to complications related to his injuries. And so Misty, Brock and Pikachu set off to have an adventure of their own. They arrived at a beach.

"Ah, I sure do love the beach," Misty said. She ripped off her clothes and dove into the ocean. Brock did the same. So did his pokemon, but as they were all rock-type, they turned into sand. Brock cried so hard he forgot to swim and drowned. Pikachu dove in to save him which electrified the ocean killing everything within a 2-mile radius including Misty.

 

Pikachu was having a bad day. He trudged along the mountain by himself. All his friends were dead and he was starved. It had been so long since he had to forage for his own food. What would he do, he wondered.

"Prepare for trouble! And make it double!"

Two familiar voices penetrated the night sky and the night sky went "oooh" cuz it was its first time, but like, also Team Rocket swooped in and captured Pikachu.

They brought Pikachu before Giovanni.

"THIS WAS WHAT THE FUSS WAS ALL ABOUT!?! YOU MORONS! IT'S JUST AN ORDINARY PIKACHU WHO BELIEVED IN THE HEART OF THE CARDS! THERE'S NOTHING SPECIAL ABOUT THAT! GET OUT OF MY FACE!!!!!111"

Giovanni was not pleased. Jessie and James sighed. They had been fired. Living in the wilderness without a job, they were forced to survive by eating Meowth. Pikachu had run away presumably to die from depression cuz everyone it loved was dead. Jessie and James became goth and started a new city called "Pitch-Black Town" where they only used Goth-type pokemon like Gothly and Gothing.

One day, some trainers came by to challenge the gym leader Zombie Meowth who had risen from the dead several weeks back, ate Jessie and James, and stole the city all for the sake of revenge.

The kids summoned their pokemon and Zombie Meowth ate them. The kids soon realized that this was no gym. It was a trap! They screamed as Zombie Meowth descended upon them as well.

Meanwhile, in Hoenn, it turned out Pikachu hadn't died of depression after all. He was living as a humble salesperson who pimped out hoes on the side. It was a peaceful life, until one day his hoes were getting restless. Unsatisfied with their jobs, they revolted and told Pikachu where he could stick it. No amount of pimp slaps could save the day, and thus Pikachu was left high and dry, without a job, not even his salesperson business which had gone under just the other day.

Pikachu traveled again for many years. Wondering how things were back on his old stomping grounds he went back to Kanto and found the whole island had turned goth, ruled under the iron-fist of Zombie Meowth. A group of some people noticed Pikachu and dubbed him the "Chosen One". Only he could stop the tyranny of Zombie Meowth, they said. Pikachu didn't much believe them on this matter, but what the hell, his life couldn't get any worse.

On Dawn of the Final Day, Pikachu confronted Zombie Meowth.

"Pika pika! Pika pika pika chu! Pika chu chu pika pika chu!"

Zombie Meowth stared back at him with his cold, dead eye sockets.

"Yeah, I never really understood why we do that stupid thing with our names when we can just talk," Zombie Meowth said.

"You have never understood our ways, Zombie Meowth," Pikachu said in his normal voice which basically sounded like Morgan Freeman..

"It's my way or gtfo!" Zombie Meowth said and then he attacked.

Pikachu and Meowth fought for like an hour. In the end, Zombie Meowth was lying on the ground, dying for the last time.

"I only wanted to start a better life for us," Zombie Meowth said. "Look inside yourself Pikachu, there are organs!" Zombie Meowth made a final swipe at Pikachu, tearing into his body. All of pikachu's organs fell out and they both died together that day on the battlefield.

Years later, the world was rebuilt. In the middle of Pallet Town was a memorial dedicated to the tragic love story between Pikachu and Zombie Meowth that caused the mayhem oh so long ago...

 

THE END

 


End file.
